How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Do people in Australia call the rest of the world "up over"?

Does that screwdriver belong to Philip?

Does killing time damage eternity?

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Are part-time bandleaders semi-conductors?

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?

Daylight savings time: Why are they saving it and where do they keep it?

Did Noah keep his bees in archives?

Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?

If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?

If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?

If swimming is good for your shape, then why do whales look the way they do?

If tin whistles are made out of tin, then what do they make fog horns out of?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

If you can't drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

Why do the signs that say "slow children" have a picture of a running child?

Why do they call it "chili" if it's hot?

Why do we sing "take me out to the ball game" when we're already there?

If a person with multiple personalites threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

If olive oil comes from olives, then where does baby oil come from?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

If you're sending someone styrofoam, what would you pack it in?

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

shouldn't buildings be called builts, since they are already finished?

Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together?

If I played a blank tape full blast, would a mime go nuts?

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

Why is it that when a door is open, it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?

Why is it that you can tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you, but tell him that a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it?

If con is the opposite of pro, what is the opposite of progress?

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

Do sheep shrink when it rains?

Does Pinnochio have wooden balls?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest of them drown too?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

When the police arrest a mime, do they tell him that he has the right to remain silent?

If you guys have any more stupid questions, then e-mail them to me!

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